How To Attract Better Clients by Being Your Authentic Self with Jennifer Lynn
Jan 6
If you’ve been trying to “be yourself” online—but it still feels like you’re editing, filtering, and second-guessing everything you say…you’re not alone.
In fact, one of the biggest reasons life coaches struggle to grow (and stay consistent) isn’t lack of strategy. It’s that they’re showing up as a version of themselves that feels safer, softer, and more “acceptable” than their authentic self.
And while that might feel protective in the moment, it quietly costs you the very things you want most: confidence, clarity, and clients who are truly aligned.
That’s exactly why this episode of Superbloom Coach is such an important conversation.
I’m Moriah Riona—award-winning luxury brand designer and certified life coach—and today I’m joined by my good friend and fellow Life Coach School certified coach, Jennifer Lynn, to break down her powerful SELF framework for becoming your authentic self as a life coach.
Together, we’re unpacking what authenticity actually means (beyond the buzzword), why people pleasing is the fastest way to lose your magnetism, and how to start living and marketing from your authentic self in a way that attracts better clients and supports real growth.
What Does “Authentic Self” Actually Mean?
Before we break down the framework, let’s align on what “authentic self” means in a practical, real-life way.
Your authentic self is the version of you that’s not filtered through:
- what your audience might think
- what your family expects
- what your clients want to hear
- what your industry rewards
- what feels “safe” or “approved”
In other words, your authentic self is you without performance.
And once you start coaching from your authentic self, everything changes—your content becomes clearer, your offers feel cleaner, your client attraction gets stronger, and your confidence becomes unshakable.
That’s exactly why Jennifer’s framework matters so much. It doesn’t just describe authenticity. It gives you a path to it.
Meet Jennifer Lynn: How Her Coaching Journey Started
Jennifer shares that she got into life coaching because she first hired a coach for weight loss. However, over time, she worked with multiple coaches, ultimately finding her way to Brooke Castillo and the Life Coach School.
That’s where the shift happened.
Through The Model and self-coaching, Jennifer created massive changes in her own life. Consequently, she knew she had to turn around and help other women do the same.
Today, she specializes in working with working moms who feel stuck—helping them gain momentum toward a bigger, fuller life by learning how to stop living on the back burner.
Which, honestly, makes her the perfect person to teach on authentic self.
Because if anyone has been conditioned to abandon themselves for the comfort of everyone else…it’s moms.
Why Life Coaches Struggle to Be Their Authentic Self
Let’s name what’s really happening.
Many life coaches—especially women—have been trained to be:
- “nice”
- agreeable
- helpful
- accommodating
- non-offensive
- emotionally responsible for everyone else
So naturally, authenticity feels risky.
Furthermore, once you become a coach (and especially once you start posting online), the pressure intensifies. You’re not just navigating family dynamics—you’re navigating audience dynamics.
That’s why so many coaches start shaping their personality around what will “land well.”
Unfortunately, that’s also why so many coaches plateau.
Because the moment you start people pleasing, you stop being magnetic.
The SELF Framework: How to Live as Your Authentic Self
Jennifer’s framework is an acronym: S–E–L–F.
Even better, she has two versions of the framework—one for living inauthentically and one for living authentically. In this post, we’re focusing on the authentic self version.
Here’s what SELF stands for:
- S — Speak the truth
- E — Embrace what lights you up
- L — Let go of shoulds
- F — F what they think
Let’s break each one down.
S: Speak the Truth to Become Your Authentic Self
The first step is speaking the truth.
This is where authenticity begins—not by changing your brand colors, not by rewriting your bio, and definitely not by copying someone else’s tone online.
It starts with a simple decision:
Stop sugarcoating who you are.
Jennifer explains that so many of us speak in a way that’s designed to make other people comfortable. Yet ironically, when you do that, you’re not being kind—you’re being inauthentic.
Additionally, you’re training yourself to believe that you’re only safe when you’re edited.
Speak the Truth Without Making It Dramatic
Speaking the truth doesn’t mean you become harsh, rude, or disrespectful. Instead, it means you stop adjusting your personality to fit the room.
So rather than twisting your words into something “softer,” you say what you mean—with clarity and ownership.
That’s authentic self in action.
Saying “No” Is Complete Freedom
One of the most practical ways to start speaking the truth?
Start saying no.
Not to everything. Not to everyone. Just to one small thing today.
Jennifer gives a simple example: if her kids ask for dinner while she’s eating, she can kindly say:
“No, I’ll make you dinner after I eat.”
And that moment matters—because it’s a micro-declaration that her needs count too.
Even more powerful, Jennifer says this line I want you to tattoo on your brain:
Saying yes to what you really want is self-care.
You cannot be your authentic self while abandoning yourself.
Why People Pleasing Is the Opposite of Authentic Self
This conversation takes a turn into one of Brooke Castillo’s classic lines.
“What are people pleasers?”
“They’re liars.”
And yes—it’s funny. However, it’s also true.
Because people pleasing is essentially this:
“I’m going to present a version of myself that I hope gets the reaction I want.”
In other words, it’s manipulation—just dressed up in politeness.
Why Working Moms Struggle With People Pleasing So Much
Jennifer points out that moms, especially working moms, are buried under cultural expectations.
Even though modern life demands more than ever from women, we’re still dragging the outdated belief that moms should:
- be endlessly nurturing
- do it all
- keep everyone happy
- never need anything
- sacrifice constantly
Meanwhile, no one explicitly asked us to do that. Yet we internalized it anyway.
Then, to make it “noble,” we package it like:
“I’m doing it for my kids.”
However, if you’re depleted, exhausted, and resentful…that version of you isn’t actually what your kids need.
Furthermore, caring for your child does not mean keeping them happy 100% of the time.
That’s not parenting. That’s emotional management.
And it’s not your job.
E: Embrace What Lights You Up to Reconnect With Your Authentic Self
Now we’re getting to the fun part: Embrace what lights you up.
Jennifer calls this the most joyful step because it reconnects you to your desires.
So many women have been performing for so long that they honestly can’t answer:
“What do I want?”
If that’s you, you’re not broken. You’re simply out of practice.
Your Authentic Self Has Desires—Even If You’ve Forgotten Them
Jennifer shares that when she started experimenting with what lights her up, she tried pickleball (inspired by Brooke Castillo) and became obsessed for about a year.
Then it stopped lighting her up…so she moved on.
That’s the point.
Your authentic self isn’t a fixed identity. It’s a living, evolving relationship with your own desires.
So you try things. You pay attention. You follow what feels good.
Additionally, you can go back to what you loved as a kid. Or you can try something your friends do. Or you can explore what you’ve always been curious about.
Either way, joy is data.
Moriah’s Story: Returning to Dance at 40
This is where I share something personal that connects deeply to authentic self work.
I was a dance major in college. Then the program got cut. That chapter felt like it ended overnight.
So I stopped dancing for 20 years.
However, after turning 40, I signed my two-year-old up for classes—and discovered the studio had an adult program.
So I enrolled in four adult classes.
And honestly? It’s been magical.
Even though my body isn’t the same, dancing again reminds me who I am.
More importantly, it forces me to practice being my authentic self as a mom—because I leave during dinner time. My toddler gets upset. My husband handles dinner and bedtime.
And still, I go.
Because I’m not just a mom. I am a woman, a dancer, and a whole person.
That’s the point of embracing what lights you up.
It’s not selfish. It’s alignment.
L: Let Go of “Shoulds” to Protect Your Authentic Self
Next, we get into the most common authenticity killer: shoulds.
Being further along should have happened by now. Doing more should be the answer. Spending more time with the kids should come first. Staying home instead of taking the class should be the right choice. Being better should be the baseline.
Although “should” sounds like motivation, it’s actually a doorway into:
- guilt
- shame
- judgment
- comparison
- self-attack
And nothing good grows there.
Why “Should” Keeps You Stuck
Jennifer says something brilliant:
“Should is a really cute way of saying I’m not doing this.”
It gives you the illusion of progress—like you’re moving toward the action—without actually doing anything.
It’s similar to lying awake at night mentally writing an email…while the email remains unwritten.
So instead of getting you results, should-thoughts drain your energy.
Replace “Should” With “Want”
One of the simplest shifts you can make is this:
Every time you catch a “should,” swap it with want.
Instead of:
“I should do the laundry.”
Try:
“I want to do the laundry because I want ease tomorrow morning.”
Even if you don’t feel the want at first, the energy changes instantly.
And energy matters—because energy drives action.
F: F What They Think to Fully Embody Your Authentic Self
The final step is the one everyone loves to quote…and struggles to live:
F what they think.
Authenticity requires releasing obsession with other people’s opinions.
Not because you become disrespectful, but because you stop making their reactions the boss of your decisions.
Jennifer explains that worrying about what other people think keeps you stuck in overthinking:
- You don’t make the post.
- You don’t launch the offer.
- You don’t raise your rates.
- You don’t show up consistently.
Because instead of moving through the feeling, you spin inside it.
The “Cousins” Problem (And Why It’s Holding You Back)
I share a moment that hit me hard.
A coach posted: “You’re not posting because you’re worried what your cousins will think.”
And as someone from a big Irish Catholic family, I immediately thought:
“Oh my god…that’s me.”
A chunk of my followers are family. Yet they’re not my clients. They’re never going to buy from me. And I don’t want them to.
So why would I let their hypothetical opinions stop me from serving the people who actually need me?
That’s the authentic self lesson:
Your content is not for everyone. It’s for your people.
Attract and Repel: Authentic Self Branding 101
In branding, there’s a powerful concept: attract and repel.
Most people are terrified of repelling anyone.
However, one of the best things you can do for your business is repel the wrong people—so you attract the right ones faster.
Otherwise, you end up wasting your time:
- answering emails from non-buyers
- taking consult calls that aren’t aligned
- confusing your audience with generic messaging
Jennifer’s coach told her:
“You have to alienate somebody.”
Because if you’re not alienating anyone, you’re not taking a stand.
You’re just being generic.
And nobody builds a 10X business by being generic.
Authentic Self Takeaways for Life Coaches Who Want to 10X
If you only take a few things from this episode, let it be these:
- Your authentic self is your biggest business asset.
- People pleasing blocks both confidence and client attraction.
- Speaking the truth starts with small “no’s” and clear boundaries.
- Embracing what lights you up reconnects you to your identity.
- Letting go of shoulds removes guilt and restores momentum.
- F what they think is the path to visibility, leadership, and growth.
Most importantly, Jennifer reminds us that authenticity often requires layers of unlearning.
So start now.
Start small.
Say no once.
Try something new.
Post the thing.
Let it be messy.
Because you get one wild and beautiful life.
And your authentic self is worth living as.
Connect With Jennifer Lynn
Jennifer’s primary platforms are TikTok and Instagram:
- TikTok: @coachjenniferlynn
- Instagram: @jenniferlcoach
She also hosts monthly workshops on topics like people pleasing, authenticity, and getting yourself off the back burner—so if this episode hit you, go connect with her and check her links.
Work With Moriah Riona
If you enjoyed this episode of Superbloom Coach, I know you’ll love my free course:
Five Figure Clients: The Secret to Attracting High Ticket Coaching Clients
Inside, I’ll show you how to stop attracting bargain-hunter clients and start booking premium clients who understand your value.
You can sign up at: moriahriona.com/free-course
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